Parenting Blog

Hello!  This page is for people who want to discuss parenting and it’s challenges and rewards.  As a parent, I struggle with generational curses (limiting behaviors that we pass down with each new generation) financial independence, feelings of belonging within my community, and basic human stuff.  That is why I started this page, so that parents can discuss what they are doing right.  Being an over-analytical thinker, everything I do and say to my child gets a long microscope in the sun second look.  I am looking for parents who also are aware, hyper aware, and willing to change based on authentically looking at how they are parenting their children.  Welcome to my blog!  I offer Parent and Child coaching.  After a complimentary 15 minute coaching session, I invite you to sign up to be coached.  You will find coaching a great support while you navigate around parenting and personal challenges.  Thank you for checking me out!

Sincerely,

H.

beautiful pic

2/27/2016

How do you coach your child through disappointment?  Last night we were at a school function and placed A LOT of raffle tickets in a prize that we (me probably more than her) passionately wanted.  It was a week long YMCA camp gift certificate.  It was personally important that we won it because of my belief in nature based education, the fact that I don’t have money right now and can’t afford to buy it, and it would be her first week without mom at camp and I think it would be so enriching for her to go.  I borrowed money to put in x amount of tickets so we could for sure win it, after all we belong to the YMCA so we feel personally invested in the Y.  Well, she didn’t win it but her best friend that lives next door did.  She was really disappointed.  She thought that since we go to the YMCA all the time and her friend doesn’t, that she should have won it.  I have to admit, I secretly also thought this but tried to hide it because I wanted to use this as a teachable moment and wanted to stay positive for her.  I allowed her to feel her feelings.  She is super strong willed so if I had tried to talk to her while she was in the throws of feeling, it would have turned out to be a power struggle.  She wanted to run away and hide her face so no one would see her cry at school so I kept her with me and made an excuse to go to the car to get something; that way she could feel without the whole world knowing but I wasn’t going to let her be by herself because understanding recovery, one of the biggest triggers to relapse is isolation.  After she cycled through her process, I began to explain that it’s normal to feel sad in this and similar situations.  I offered that once the feelings of disappointment lose their edge, she should congratulate her friend for winning but only when she was over disappointment because it wouldn’t be authentic then.  She began to say that she will never win anything in which I said that I never win anything and the chances of actually winning are less than the chances of not winning, however, she should think positively because she cannot predict the outcome of future events.  When we got home, although I was extremely tired after working all week long and having an ear infection that has projected ineffectual hearing, I explained that I need to rest in silence but lets do it together; we can each be doing our own thing next to each other.  She agreed.   I told her that we don’t always win but we should always believe in magic because magic helps us get through the tough times.  The story has a great ending though; we got a call after processing the teachable moment that said she had won two prizes; the two that she chose herself.  She is now one happy star wars gift basket playing momma.  It was a great lesson for her to keep believing but also being a good sport and being supportive to a friend that got to win, and a great lesson for me that I need to pay attention to my own filters, thoughts and belief systems when faced with adversity because how I choose to respond to difficulty will influence her entire life, friendships, challenges and aspirations.  I have a long way to go as a parent but I have to say I did the best I could this one time.

Parent Challenge for 2/27/2016

What parenting moment are you proud of? Were you aware of your inner voice and how did your inner voice influence your teachable moment with your child?  What are your parenting struggles when it comes to challenges and difficulties?  I would love to hear what you experiencing in your parenting.

Thank you!

Coach Heather